Have you ever apologized even if it was not your fault?

Have you ever acknowledged that it was your mistake though you knew it was not in your control?

Isn’t it quite a common trend or say convenient societal norm to blame the woman for anything wrong or bad that happens?

If a baby Falls Sick, it’s the mothers fault that she didn’t take care of the baby properly.

If the husband goes out without eating food, it’s the wife’s responsibility because she didn’t serve the 30-year old man, a plate full of food in front of him.

How is this 60-year old mother’s mistake if the 30-year old son catches cold?

How often is it that the men acknowledge there faults?

Forget the small trivial things that happen everyday, the society even has the audacity to blame a female for getting raped.

Only the female is responsible for being raped because it was she who was wearing sensual cloths even if it was a saree, a jeans, a school uniform or just a diaper.

It’s the female who is responsible for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. She should have sensed that the person in front is feeling aroused by her mere presence.

“Age is just a number”.

I never believed in this until I read news about a month old baby and a 60 year old woman getting raped or a 16 year old or 60 year old raping brutally. Now I truly believe age is just a number.

Why only woman is responsible for raising the baby and taking care of everyone’s tiniest needs in the family?

The man takes the weekend off and takes rest after coming back from work while the woman takes care of the baby, takes care of the dinner and never gets a weekend off.

We have accepted this fact and it’s so deep rooted in our thought process that we don’t even mind it and we happily go on the guilt trips with even the slightest trivial matters.

How will this female blaming norm of society stop?

It has to start with YOU !!

Stop feeling guilty for the things that were not your mistake.

Stop accepting whole burden of the family and burying yourself under it.

Stop acknowledging that it was your mistake when you knew that it was a direct result of someone else’s actions and you couldn’t have done anything.

Start showing the mirror to the society that it’s everyone’s responsibility to at least acknowledge the mistakes.

And they can’t get away a with their guilt feelings by blaming women for every other thing.

Teach your daughter she doesn’t need to acknowledge and bear the burden of everyone else’s guilt.

Teach your son that he needs to grow into a responsible adult and be matured enough to acknowledge his own mistakes.

Stop accepting the guilt when it is not your fault. Period.

I am a part of the women supporting women community #WSWBlogHop and I truly believe that we should support, empower each other and grow together.

#WSWBLOGHOP is an excellent initiative by Urvashi. Read more posts by fellow bloggers and encourage #WomenSupportingWomen .

18 thoughts on “Why it’s always Woman’s Fault

  1. I used to hold myself responsible for the entire family. I had stopped being nice to myself. I always used to put myself last on the list. Through meditation and my husband’s support, I started thinking of myself first. Women should stand up for themselves and other women. Women are the most important people in a family and they should be treated with respect by men , kids and other women.

  2. How true and piercing it is! “It is a convenient societal norm to blame the woman for anything wrong or bad that happens”
    Such impactful post and thought-provoking.
    We really need to stop feeling guilty when it is not our fault.
    Nicely penned!

  3. You just spoke my mind dear. I always feel we take everything quietly and yet we r the ones who are sidelined. I always feel men are such sissies..even a common cold or fever makes them incapacitated while we bear the monthly menstrual pain and any other ailment and still do all our housework. We live in a Patriarchal society..and it is up to us women to raise such kids that there is gender neutrality. It may take a century or more till that happens

  4. Thats a bang on post. It is sad to see women being victimized and are blamed for something they haven’t done. Girls/women should also take the stand and speak for themselves. They should not feel for someone else to speak not heir behalf.

    Here, ever since I started to drive, I have been my Car to the mechanic for its regular servicing or any other issues, my friends ask me don’t you feel odd? My answer is why? If I am driving a car then I should be able to take it to the mechanic and understand whats wrong with it. This is just a small example but there are several places or occasions when women don’t want to take initiative.

  5. Such a powerful and thought provoking write up dear kinshoo. And you had said it all about women s condition in our so called morden society. Yes in our society, women faces Lots of unrealistic expectations and many times they feel guilty of too for not competing them. It’s time women should take charge of their own things in their own way by keeping realistic expectations only.

  6. Unfortunately, it is the harsh reality of our society! Well said Kinshoo its always woman who are compelled to take the bags of guilt of the whole members around on her shoulder, and it could only be a woman who can bring a change in our society by instiling the right thoughts in her children’s mind. You have perfectly thrown the light from the other side of the table on the famous saying ’age is just a number’, this sheer reality breakes me apart! Being a woman let’s promise to each other to contribute our bit for a better tomorrow!

  7. That is so true!!!! I seem to get blamed for everything ever since I got married. I’m a rebel so people have given up. But imagine those who absorb all this blaming all their lives. Sad.

  8. So glad to see you were able to bring this post on page with all the issues you were facing. You brought the essence so well. Our minds have been conditioned a lot to always blame ourselves. The need of the hour is to change within first and giving ourself enough respect so others will do too.

  9. The woman is hardly praised for her role or the sacrifices she makes for the family but when something wrong happens, she tops the list to be blamed. The change in mindset can only bring change in society. We need to raise our sons more responsibly to bring the desired change. Thought-provoking post, Kinshoo.

  10. This is so heart touching. This post is very powerful, something we women should remember always. I have seen my mom suffering from insecurities and this kind of things. That’s why mom always tells us to maintain our self dignity. I really admired your post a lot. I clap for you, Kudos to you!!

  11. This is so very true and I see women day to day getting pressurised and blaming themselves for something for which they’re not responsible. I blame it on the society and the upbringing that puts the woman to think of herself at the least and give every other thing priority

  12. Questioning the obvious and not taking things as they are told when she knows she has all the rights to know if its right or wrong before doing makes a women stand out and you pointing out such age old things is definitely one of them…. hats for sharing this beautiful peice

  13. A true post right from your heart to your computer. Women always feel guilty even it was not their mistake don’t know years of conditioning has led to this. Acceptance is the key that women are human too.

  14. I mostly believe the blame has to go to the mothers only who in many cases even if it out of love, expect everything from their daughters and do not stand for them when needed.

  15. This is such a powerful post and thought provoking post . We as women are often made guilty for every wrong happening around be its kids,our relationships and whatever. Its time to stand up .

  16. Yes, it happens. If the cook makes a bad dish its the womens fault. if kids grade in exam are slipping it the mothers fault and what not.
    i think till we take the blame, people will keep pointing fingers, the moment we stop accepting it, things will get better.
    I have a lot to learn and implement in terms of self-care and putting myself up in the list of priorities.

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