Why Kids need more than just Encouragement
“A toddler while learning to kick a ball; throws his leg up in the air, and falls on his back on the ground with a thump.. with his head hitting first..”
Now what a parent is supposed to do??
A. Never allow him to play football after that?
B. Hover around him like a helicopter trying to safegaurd him at each step??
C. Scare him so much that he won’t even touch a ball ever again??
D. Ignore as if nothing happened and let the child manage on his own?
Every parent reacts in this situation based on his/her parental instincts or personal behaviour and personality. Some are more paranoid, while some are lesser; although every parents gets worried for own children and care about them.
Which category parent are you??
A / B/ C/ D
However reaction of parents and their way of handling situations play major role in building up child’s own personality or instill fears in him accordingly.
Kids teach us so many things in life and make us realize the mistakes that we make unknowingly.
Mine has taught me that they are mentally stronger than we think. They just need our love and empathy!
Every parent in this universe wishes their child to be strong enough – both physically and mentally – to fight the world on his/her own. But we can’t see our babies getting hurt too.
Kids love to play and run around, and falling on ground or getting scratches, bruises, cuts is inevitable. Rather these are an important part of life for growing and learning.
A parent’s heart breaks to see their baby in pain.
We tend to panic the moment we see the little one tripping over trying to control his/her body movements and learning to walk. We rush to pick them up when they lose balance while trying to kick a ball and topple over.
So, What we should do –
- Run and pick them up , and panic?
- Ignore them?
- Ask them to get up on their own?
Well!! Neither of these is perfect answer.
Sharing here with you something I read somewhere and realized the mistakes I was doing. Have tried to follow few things which have worked so far.
Whenever my toddler falls down or trips over or gets hurt, I used to ask –
“Are you hurt? Is it paining?”
To which, the boy would reply –
“Yes I am hurt” or “It’s paining” expecting a big hug and kiss.
Then I would soothe him and motivate him by saying –
“You are going to be fine” “Thik ho jayga”
“You are a brave boy, try again” with cuddles and kisses.
Gradually, the little boy has understood the concept and knows that he needs to pull himself up but his mom is still going to comfort him, no matter what!
So he has himself started repeating the words –
“I will be OK. I am a strong boy” “Thik ho jayga”
“Let’s try again” – and encourages himself to get up and go again…..
A child is emotionally fragile and vulnerable at younger age, and they require their Emotional Quotient to be attended as well.
Harsh motivating words or stricter attitude might work well in some situations, but not all children are alike. And one thing every child deserves is EMPATHY and EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
Scaring them too much might make them lose self- confidence or never even dare to try anything they “think” might be difficult for them.
Encourage the child, as that’s what adults do, but also make them feel safe and understood. That their pain and suffering is not neglected.
Avoid using rude terms like-
“It’s OK”, “Get Up”, “You are fine”, Don’t Cry”
As for a tiny baby, even a minor scratch is too much painful to bear. Undermining their pain totally will leave them with impression that if their feelings doesn’t bother their own parents, then who else will understand them, who else can they relate to in this world if not own folks. This can make them anxious, loose self-confidence, and emotionally disturbed.
The more a child feels emotionally secured and protected at younger age, the more he/she is likely to develop fighter attitude and learns to handle unfavorable situations in a better way. Physical strength is directly propotional to mental strength and so psychological responses in an adverse condition contribute majorly to physical strength.
It’s more like – “Get up and Get it” – but they need that mental power and self-encouragement to pull themselves up and overcome whatever hinderances they had.
When parents understand children, their emotions, their fears and support them positively; then only they grow up as Empathatic and Confident Individuals in life.
Instead of “telling” the child – “You are Ok”; let the child reassure himself that “He will be Ok and he will be fine”.
Choose words and the tone carefully while talking to children, as they deserve and require understanding and affirmations. Rudeness or blunt motivation is incomprehensible to the young minds.
Empathy, love, support, and positive encouraging words is all it takes to nurture a tiny seed into strong plant.
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